Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
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Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize