He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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