she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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