the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
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I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
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Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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