walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
The Olympian is in my bed
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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