I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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