You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize