My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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