i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize