I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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