shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
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so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
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FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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