he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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