so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize