Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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