Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
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i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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