tell your sister to shave her snatch
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize