Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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