how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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