Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
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The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
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And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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