Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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