I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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