I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize