Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize