Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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