my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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