wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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