In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize