5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
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when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
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Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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