Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize