im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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