that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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