dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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