I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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