I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Less talking, more tequila
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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