so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize