Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
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But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
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I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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