My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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