Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
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Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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