my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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