Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize