Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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