Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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