Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
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I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
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My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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