How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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