so that wasnt chicken after all
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
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I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
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officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize