Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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