So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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