using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Randomize