please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
foreskin is a definite game changer
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize