Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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